F*ck Those People: Take Control of Your Own Life

In life, we sometimes struggle and then have to deal with bad advice from nosey people. We have a problem at home, and our best friend becomes a relationship counselor. Or a coworker overhears you in a disagreement over the phone and feels the need to chime in with their opinion. It’s time for you to turn down bad advice and take control of your life.

[You have to] defend yourself.

Sometimes, you feel the need to vent. You’re not looking for advice but an avenue to express yourself. However, when you do so with a family member or friend, you find yourself arguing to defend yourself.

It is human to want to open up about your struggles. However, doing so within your inner-circle could cause uncomfortable disagreements. To take control of your life and express yourself, see a counselor, start a blog or go to a support group.

NFL Player Russel Wilson and Singer/Wife Ciara Photo by People.

Also, before pouring out your emotions, you could start off by telling the person you’re talking to that you just want to vent. Tell them you’re not looking for advice or to be judged. This should make the conversation more comfortable for both of you. Also, you have to set boundaries with coworkers.

I’ve dealt with a pushy coworker who insisted I allow them to buy me things. It was a very uncomfortable experience brought on when this person asked me if I’d ever tried a particular thing and I said, “No.”

I took coworkers’ advice because I felt pressured.

Although the moment I turned down my coworker’s offer felt awkward, I ultimately felt better in the end. I don’t know where things would have gone had I accepted the offer, but I do know I felt extremely uncomfortable.

The coworker I mentioned was also very nosey, having their ear to every office door in the building. A few times, they insisted I take their advice. Many times I did because I felt pressured to. And that’s where I went wrong.

Arguing Coworkers. Photo by Black Enterprise.

In human communication, there will be uncomfortable moments. You must confront them head-on. It’s OK to say, “No. I got this.” That applies to family as well.

We like to think our family’s advice is always coming from a place of love. However, when our families dislike our spouses or have hidden jealousy towards us, their advice might be tainted. Take their advice with a hint of doubt.

You have to stand up for yourself.

Everybody has that nosey friend who makes it seem like their own life or relationship is perfect. Actually, it isn’t. They just don’t fill you in on the negative issues. Because of that, it seems they have it all together. They don’t.

Still, we fear what our family and friends will say behind our backs if we continue to date the person they don’t like. We are reluctant to stand up because we don’t want the drama.

Friends and family genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Photo by Black Enterprise.

Tell your family and friends you don’t need their advice. Keep them out of your business. If they try to discuss it, change the subject. Avoid going there with them.

That said, everybody goes through things. It’s up to you to make your best decisions. It’s fine to tell a coworker you don’t need their help or advice. It’s better you avoid discussing personal issues with your friends and family they use to judge you. You are amazing. You got this.

Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. Subscribe and share to get new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here. Follow J Reed on Twitter @jreed913.

Published by Professor J

Professor J is a professor, author, poet and screenwriter.

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